I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
