She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
