i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
