remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
