Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
