I just saw a hot homeless man
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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