Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
