Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
