So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
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i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
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Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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