She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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