I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
