I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
