If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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