I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
