ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
