Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
