Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
