Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
