Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
