Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
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He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.