I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."