Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.