Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.

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(406): Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it. http://tfl.nu/qcms

Replies (2) Good night (1398) Bad night (809)
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(858): View more from California

in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"

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(858): in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby" http://tfl.nu/q8vs

Replies (54) Good night (2159) Bad night (4875)
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(207): View more from Maine

life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.

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(207): life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony. http://tfl.nu/6vet

Replies (18) Good night (1090) Bad night (2856)
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(631): View more from New York

You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu

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(631): You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu http://tfl.nu/9ul0

Replies (14) Good night (2496) Bad night (4140)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.

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(919): sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer. http://tfl.nu/u6do

Replies (13) Good night (6294) Bad night (1481)
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(239): View more from Florida

Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer

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(239): Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer http://tfl.nu/egws

Replies (5) Good night (1062) Bad night (776)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.

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(540): I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking. http://tfl.nu/c4hu

Replies (0) Good night (906) Bad night (475)
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(970): View more from Colorado

He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.

(303): View more from Colorado

Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.

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(970): He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out. (303): Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do. http://tfl.nu/z2aq

Replies (3) Good night (2177) Bad night (765)
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(310): View more from California

We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating

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(310): We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating http://tfl.nu/6jwq

Replies (17) Good night (968) Bad night (1604)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to

(302): View more from Delaware

yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich

(302): View more from Delaware

wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in

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(603): I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to (302): yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich (302): wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in http://tfl.nu/z48g

Replies (9) Good night (808) Bad night (436)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.

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(201): Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us. http://tfl.nu/sjtk

Replies (1) Good night (540) Bad night (391)
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(352): View more from Florida

I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!

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(352): I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!! http://tfl.nu/xhpg

Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (482)
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(817): View more from Texas

I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.

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(817): I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department. http://tfl.nu/0vx5

Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (632)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?

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(832): If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me? http://tfl.nu/3f6r

Replies (5) Good night (641) Bad night (366)
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(847): View more from Illinois

She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.

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(847): She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle. http://tfl.nu/536g

Replies (3) Good night (352) Bad night (461)

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