omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
These 21 People Got Piercings And It Improved Their Sex Life
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box