Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth http://tfl.nu/9wx7
  Replies (7) Good night (2078) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  How was your sisters wedding?

  (1-408): View more from California

  Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.

  (408): View more from California

  sisterhood ftl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): How was your sisters wedding? (1-408): Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so. (408): sisterhood ftl. http://tfl.nu/zr4n
  Replies (33) Good night (558) Bad night (3485)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  We need to talk about our relationship.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): We need to talk about our relationship. (403): I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes http://tfl.nu/0ub4
  Replies (20) Good night (8954) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake http://tfl.nu/be1r
  Replies (4) Good night (3444) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money. http://tfl.nu/cehx
  Replies (7) Good night (882) Bad night (3270)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate? http://tfl.nu/y4sj
  Replies (18) Good night (4899) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN http://tfl.nu/nyld
  Replies (15) Good night (7052) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life. http://tfl.nu/j431
  Replies (54) Good night (6986) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me http://tfl.nu/ff5t
  Replies (8) Good night (2780) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins' http://tfl.nu/d755
  Replies (9) Good night (1805) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  But you'll make an exception

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  probably not

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls (1-908): But you'll make an exception (908): probably not http://tfl.nu/9drh
  Replies (6) Good night (1546) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running http://tfl.nu/vdeh
  Replies (6) Good night (638) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You rock my world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I just smoked weed out of a baked potato. (309): You rock my world. http://tfl.nu/p2ud
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today. (240): Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality. http://tfl.nu/yhrj
  Replies (2) Good night (854) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough. http://tfl.nu/xqyf
  Replies (1) Good night (206) Bad night (338)

Randomize