I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...