Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
