I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.