I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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