sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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