If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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