Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So many bounce houses so little time
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
