Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
