Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
