Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
