gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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