Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
