I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So many bounce houses so little time
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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