Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
