So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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