dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You pole danced in your parka.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is Oprah even human
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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