the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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