you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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