dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
