Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
