Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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