It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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