not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
