He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
