Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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