the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
