we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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