so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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