what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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