in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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