Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Two words: blizzard sex
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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