brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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