you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
