Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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