take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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