Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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