I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
