On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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