Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
