I wanna bring you to show and tell
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
