Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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