So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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