I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
