Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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