This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
